"Hey girl hey"

So this week wasn't very proactive, I might say.

I feel like I'm in slow-mo, yet the days are flying by. How can that be?

I'm also getting so more and more confused with my feelings, it's starting to eat me alive at this point. I don't know what or who I want anymore.

Being in love was never really my thing anyway.

I need to work things out solo this time.

But good news! I've got a plan already for the talent show at the end of the year. I'm stoked.

The La Lumiere Losers!

So this week I started school. The work, not bad. The boys, not bad. The girls, not bad.
So over-all, it's pretty mediocre.

However, there is someone that I've wanted to tell something to for awhile now, but I doubt I'll ever actual attain the courage for THAT.

Cross country has been kicking my ass, if it weren't for Mike making jokes, I think I would have killed myself by now.

I have English homework Monday, but I don't even have my book. FUCK.

I think we forget who we are when others don't know who they are.

I'm tired of being treated the way you treat me.

You go around telling lies about me, making things up, yet, you can't say one thing to my face. Why is that?

When I constantly try to talk to you, you ignore me, but you sure as heck can't seem to keep my name out of your mouth.

You're so obnoxious.

Woah.

I feel violated.

Please, let's just pretend.

To be honest with you. Today was a slap in the face.

HE was a slap in the face.

I've had this outlook on life like I've needed someone, a companion. The truth is, I can't live without a friend. But I know that I can live without that "significant other."

Relationships are a waste.

I like being by myself.
And I'll be content being taken when I finally find a funny, witty, smart-ass, intelectual, caring, loving, listening, deserving person that I will be willing to share my life with.

Forget it, it's a hopeless dream.

I am an old light house, burnt out and useless.

I took the time today to reflect on myself. See where I am, where I'm going, and whether or not that's where I intended to go in the first place.

I just wish there were real, genuinely smart people to have actual human conversations with.

I wish someone would give me a conversation to remember instead of the usual "Hey, what's up?" "Not much." Awkward Pause-conversations.

Doesn't anyone have an opinion now-a-days?

Who pays attention to Monster's flavors anyway?

So today was...different.

I woke up at Teresa's even though technically we went to bed in the morning and woke back up in the morning.
I went to the beach for a little bit.

Hung around.

Went to church, which was quite a show all on it's own. I didn't even put my name in the bucket to be a contestant on our "Jeopardy" that was had going on at church, though my name was called. >:[
Whoever put my name in that hat, I will find you and I will kill you. Kidding.
But seriously, I don't even drink Monsters. They are nasty, so how was I supposed to guess that that was the answer when he read off all of the different flavors?
I wasn't. So...suck it. Thanks for trying to help, Melody, even though you don't drink those either.

Anyway, I've started to reconnect with a past friend...so that was nice. We talked on the phone for a little bit, so I can sort of start to see his point of view. It's always nice to get into other people's heads.

"He used to gnaw on the crib bars too..." "Lead paint?" "We think so..."

So! Yesterday my book Breaking Dawn finally freakin' came in.

I read up to like 200 pages last night and I've been reading a lot today.

Today has actually been really slow.

I did a successful at embarrassing my mother in the grocery store by dancing like a rapist like I do EVERY time we're there....
Maybe that's why she doesn't invite me to go with her to stores anymore...

Well!

So I just got my ugly braces off today. It took literally an eternity. The lady who did it...was BR00T4L! Lmao. But seriously, I hate her now because she wouldn't stop jabbing at my mouth. I'm going to punch her the next time I see her.

I think I'm going to hang with my girl Teresa today! Mmmm, with my braces off, I look like a 12 year old...:/

I can't wait for the new school year to start. I've met some really cool people so far. I can't wait to see what the rest of this year has in store for me!

A day for change.

So today is officially my first day writing. Many things have happened over the summer, some I'm not too proud of and some, to say the least, made my summer worth living.

In about 18 or so days I'll be starting a new school, going in as a junior. Talk about scary. Though, I've met a lot of really cool kids there lately and I'm pretty stoked about it.

I sure hope the rest of this summer doesn't turn out to be a big bummer. That wasn't intended on rhyming.

Until next time.